Author Archives: Wm. Amurgis

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About Wm. Amurgis

Father of 5, husband of 1

Bad dog, no biscuit

A colleague uttered the following two statements during a meeting. I can’t recall what the subject was, but I think they could apply in many life situations: “I can’t imagine anyone saying ‘Bad dog, no biscuit’ to me.” And then, … Continue reading

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Unheard rumors

I witnessed the following exchange between two semi-executives in a meeting today. They were discussing a communications program at my company, and the exchange began with claims that rumors were flying about the program: Person 1: “I’m in charge of … Continue reading

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Bigger boy

Our twins were born yesterday. Since I was at the hospital until late last night, the three elder children stayed the night at my parents’ house. When they woke up this morning, they got the news that they now have … Continue reading

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Salami Mommy

Our two-year-old son calls himself “Ham” — we’re not sure why — so my wife teased him today and called him Ham Sandwich. He laughed, thought for a second, and then made up a nickname for her: Salami Mommy.

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Quick, be slow

While discussing the status of our various projects this week, our manager actually uttered these words while telling a colleague to delay effort on a particular project: “Go ahead and hold off on that.”

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Eating in

My late grandfather owned a restaurant for much of his life. After he retired, he was amused (or annoyed, I’m not sure which) by the whole concept of eating outside on one’s patio. To him, you ate inside and performed … Continue reading

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You can go now

First day of school today. First, we took our eldest to her second-grade classroom, where she gushed over the fact that she now, for the first time, has her own desk. Then, in the afternoon, we took our 5-year-old to … Continue reading

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My face exploded

I was once elbowed in the face during a basketball game. Stunned for a moment, I turned to run down court when a sheet of blood shot down my face. I had to get 13 stitches and had a big … Continue reading

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Cucumber head

On a hot summer day when I was a kid, my grandmother would peel cucumbers (for dinner) and stick the peel on our foreheads. It actually did feel quite cool! But I bet we were the stupidest looking family in … Continue reading

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Bad brain

I caught my five-year-old daughter emptying a watering can on the cat. When I scolded her, and asked her why she would do such a cruel thing, she started crying and said, “I don’t know why I did it. My … Continue reading

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